Connections

It seems the topic amongst my long-time girlfriends on their blogs this week is about connection or lack of connection with their churches and its members, which of course makes me introspective.

With the exception to some wounding from church leadership in Florida, all of my church experiences and connections with others in them have been very positive. I can remember church activities and people from when I was 6 years old. I remember pot-luck dinners and Bible studies that I went with my parents that always made me feel happy. We still have friends from our church days in London that still come to visit us here in the U.S. even though the church we all attended has faded away.

When our family moved to Florida in the 80's my parents felt that relationships like that could probably never be replicated but they were wrong. The minute our family stepped into St. David's we felt a sense of home again. My parents retired to Florida based on the relationships and connections they made in that church. While that church has gone through two sets of splitting; connections are still there. And while those splits were messy and ugly, through time relationships have mended and connections were re-established.

In my own life, when I became of age and moved away and joined my own church, I knew from experience what a "good" church felt like. It felt like home; a bunch of people with open arms who I could not hide out from, who would miss my presence when they didn't see me, who would call me just to see how I was doing.

I also got involved in the life of the church from doing Bible Studies, some kind of care-giving, (i.e., children's ministries, nursery..), volunteer work - basically anything that brought me closer to people and them closer to me. Most of the time it's people with like interests and personalities, but I'll have to say I've gotten to be close with a lot of different people over the years.

I grew up in a military family and moving around was common for us. The first few months of a move to a new area was always difficult and I would tell my Dad that I wanted to go back to our old house. He always told me to give a new place 6 months. So I try to do that with all the moves I've made over the years.

When we lived in St. Augustine connecting with the local MOPS group was terrible and I was so disappointed because I had seen my girlfriends in Jacksonville enjoy their group so much. I guess in order to have connection it requires not just a response from us but from the people we are trying to connect with. It's sort of a 50/50 shot there. And when I sense no connection, and have given my all, I move on.

My MOPS group in Georgia was the greatest and I finally relished in the love and support of mothers who "connected" with me. Here in Alabama I again experienced a not too friendly MOPS group and after giving it 6 months, I disconnected and moved on. (I find it hilarious that after not attending for almost 8 months, I finally got a call to remind me to attend a meeting.)

Most of my church experiences have been with smaller sized churches. I think sometimes people go to larger churches because they want to be connected with people who are "like" them.

Because my husband is in ministry I can't chose which church I can go to, I go to the one he ministers at. Often times they don't appear to be compatible with my life, there are no children my kid's ages, no women my age, and sometimes no "just for women" Bible studies, etc. And because I have no choice, I am challenged to relate and connect with the most unlikely of people.