It's been a hard week for me. With me in my 8th month of pregnancy I have had little energy and grace for my children this past week. While our daytime hours seem to be going well, bedtime has been horrible. We spent a week away from home on vacation and the kids have not adjusted back to their regular bedtime routine. Any and every excuse to get out of bed has been used and my nerves are at a frazzled point. It culminated last night with Veronica not falling asleep until almost 1am. For about 4 hours we had a struggle of wills to get her to stay in her bed. She eventually fell asleep but I had several bouts of crying and arguing with my husband as to the methods we were both trying. What works for my son does not necessarily work for my daughter. At least through all of this, Xavier did not wake up even with all the wailing and screaming going on.
I woke up completely depressed asking myself why God made me a mother. My friend Lisa just celebrated her 40th birthday and described how quiet her life was, no husband and children. I thought for an envious moment how wonderful! When I woke up this morning I did not want to be a Mommy. I did not want to be a wife. I just wanted singleness, quiet and rest. I was in a horrible mood. The weather hasn't added to anything, it's been rainy and wet for two days.
Since the kids had been couped up for two days I decided to take them to play at Chik-fil-a. On the way, I turned on the radio and heard this wonderful message from Alistair Begg of Truth For Life called "Biblical Principles for Parenting, Part B". I don't think this was a coincidence by any way, but God reaching in and encouraging me even though my attitude stunk. It helped me put things back into perspective.
4 comments:
It seems that the longer they are in the home, the more savage they become. Then I become more cranky than them.
I know how difficult it is for you during this last phase of your pregnancy. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for continued strength.
Love You!
Amen, sister friend. Keep a stiff upper lip and all that.
Been there and done that (usually on a weekly basis). God's grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning - THANK YOU JESUS! I know its difficult being so close to delivering, but try those breathing excercises in the midst of the struggles, its just like labor, some times it helps and sometimes it doesn't, but hey it helps you concentrate on something else for a moment.
I'm sorry you are having a rough patch.
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